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Saturday, July 31, 2010

choices

Every day, all day long, I'm reminding my kids about the choices they make and telling them to think about the consequences of their actions before they decide to do things that they know will have unfavorable results.  Like hitting each other, losing their tempers, not telling the truth, making giant messes without cleaning them up, or just in general doing things they know they are not supposed to do because they will get in trouble, hurt someone's feelings, make me a monster-grouchy mom, or whatever.  I remind them that they are in control of their own choices and decisions - and that it is completely up to them.  It's my hope this will sink in eventually and that they will learn to think before they act.  That they will grow to be happy people who take responsibility for the way they choose to live their lives and that they will think of others and how what they do impacts the rest of the world around them.

I've been thinking about this a lot because lately I don't feel like I've been making the best choices for myself.  This week was hard for me.  I was a lot less active than I've been in months, and it's been depressing.  I know it's because I'm pregnant and I'm just not feeling great - I feel huge and hormonal and tired and nauseous, but it is also more than that.  I don't want to fall back on my pregnancy as an excuse for not taking good care of myself.  All week I feel like I was eating things that I know don't make me feel good (dairy, things high in sugar....sure they taste yummy, but always after I eat them I feel sick or depressed).  I am going to be pregnant for the next 6 months and I'm going to most likely gain a total of 40+ pounds by the time this baby is born.  And this is not in my control - no matter what choices I make, this will happen.  But I'll gain even more weight than that and be sad and depressed if I make choices like being lazy or eating too much of the kind of foods that make me feel bad. I am sure of that.

I need to take my own advice and make choices that will result in me feeling good about myself and the way I am caring for my body and my growing baby.  One step at a time, one choice at a time...and in my heart I believe that if I do that, I will feel a lot better as these pounds pile on.  I won't have this creeping feeling that maybe there is extra weight from my bad choices and I will be assured that it is just what my body needs to do to make a healthy baby.  I think I can feel good about that.

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